Losing the War of Gonzo Language

Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will doom me forever. Yes, it isn’t just semantics, as the colloquialism flows. Take this: in 2008, the Republicans were the party of big spending. That last clause doesn’t mean anything. Why? Well, because the words mean nothing. What is a Republican? One that believes in small government, of course. But that doesn’t mean anything either. When you define yourself, you beliefs, or the size of your member on relative terms, you’re really saying that all you want out of life is to differ in some way from someone else. And I call you a jellyfish. Or a dead possum. Or a Republican. Or one of any Congresspersons, for that matter.

See, everyone can make themselves look better than someone else for a little while. This is why guys bring acrostic guitars to parties in college. You will, without doubt, get laid that night. But what happens at breakfast?

What I’m getting at is this: words matter. But few believe that we have to define them anymore. They have a “feel” to them that matters. Big Government is bad. Spending is bad. But reality has a bitter edge that keeps folks from sleeping at night. So a pregnant illegal immigrant will get a doctor’s full attention to give a child a chance at life. But Christ! Give her health insurance before that moment makes you a socialist swine that gives and gives until our Beautiful Nation is bankrupt! Silly.

But let’s be fair. I’m not out to destroy Republicans here. I couldn’t, since they don’t exist. It isn’t their words only that are meaningless. So are those of the Democrats. I say that because they were swept into power and did little. They did some very great things, but their failures are greater. Where do we go?

We go here. Define what matters. If you use a relevant term, you should lose. Know what you believe and fight for it. Only then will we be able to be a creative nation yet again. Because right now, all the media talks about is sex-hungry golfers and war. Neither of those things will make a better mousetrap.