A slow kind of death

Sometimes, one hears a phrase so goddamn terrifying that you freeze up, your mind reels imagining the sick consequences, and you fight the urge to drive your car into the bridge abutment coming at you at 82 miles per hour. Wouldn't it be funny if I didn't hear something like that at all and I just start talking about ice cream or something? Well, here's what I heard:


"The victims of Hurricane Sandy are starting to get back those necessities they did without for two weeks."

Now you, dear reader, might not have had the same reaction that I had so let me explain. Working as I do, I've been in a number of situations where some group that performed some specific function complained up the ladder that they didn't have the resources to do their job. This complaint kicked of a discussion that didn't try to find more resources, but tried to see if that job itself had to be done. Very often, it didn't. Now that's very often a good thing in business because that's how business delivers goods cheaper and the customer gets a better price. Consider the language that happens in that discussion, though, and you can see why I considered wrecking my car with me in it…

Person A: "I do this service that the company NEEDS and I don’t have the resources to do it."

Person B: "If you don't have the resources, you're not doing the job now, so we obviously don't NEED it."

Definitions can be very important. Often, very basic words like "need" are defined differently depending on ideology. In the admittedly vague workplace example, this thing probably wasn't a "need" as much as a way to make the overall goal easier at some certain cost. Or, alternately, maybe it was a redundant quality control check that 999,999 times turned up nothing, but caught that one in a million issue that would kill half a dozen consumers. Was that check "needed"?

I say no. Of course not. Here's what is needed: air, water, food, shelter. That's pretty much it. And that's totally okay because on the spectrum that runs between "need" and "hot tub full of champagne and hookers" right next to "need" is "wise". Wise is where it's at.

So back to the Hurricane Sandy quote. Did those people survive without those precious "necessities" that included, I'm sure, medicine, heat, electricity and personal security? Most did. Probably better than 999,999 out of a million did. But today, the whole government is starting to face the Fiscal-holy-god-almighty-Cliff that will bring down the Economy (remember, I'm terrified of the Economy… it's everywhere... watching…). When they start debating what the role of government is and what isn't, I'm sure every one of them will start talking about needs versus wants.

Let me digress to tell you about my upcoming failed novel that I haven't started to write yet. It's a post-apocalyptic story set at this impossible time where older people remember clearly the 1990's and younger people have known pretty much nothing but hard times. The ice caps have melted, raising sea levels to the point where NYC is no longer there. This also changed the currents in the ocean, which changed the wind patterns, so all of the weather good for growing crops is now over desert waste lands and the Canadian oil sands, where no crops can be grown. Or not enough, anyway. It hasn't rained in the middle of America in a decade. You'd think, "We can eat seafood! There's so much more sea now!" I thought of that too. The human-engineered kelp that one keeps in an aquarium (the bright green kind) is super robust and completely inedible. Thus, as it has been let loose into the oceans, it out-competed all the natural sea weed, starved the fish, and the oceans are now dead. Also, in a race to create corn and rice that would grow in the new harsh climates, a hybrid was created with a dominant gene that makes all fruit infertile, thus requiring farmers to buy new seed every year. Random cross pollination here and there and a few years into it, all corn and rice on earth is gone forever as any wild type has been pollinated by this hybrid, making infertile zygotes, and dooming us all. I tell you all of this for the kicker of an ending, which is all I really have…

Our hero that had some long story that I don't have yet and his drifter friend that turned up in the second chapter are at some sort of tent revival thing somewhere deep in the wasteland. A guy is selling miracle seed off to one side. He's quite old. Anyway, as he's selling, he says some key phrase that reminds someone in the crowd of an advertisement he heard as a young man. He says something and reminds someone else about something until it all comes out that this guy selling miracle seed was the CEO of the company that created the killer corn AND the killer kelp AND did so much to cause global warming. As hysteria begins to grow, he reasons with the crowd: "We're all still here! It wasn't the end of the world!"

Our hero, then, has a monologue (which is one of the many reasons this novel is already failed) where he says he dreams of parks, green grass, small bugs (in any post-apocalyptic world, insects get huge fast) and fresh food. He says that he watched his parents die trying to feed him and his sister and then watched his sister die in childbirth, the product of a brutal rape. Then he says something clever like "The earth didn't explode and people aren't extinct, but that world has ended damnit and it's us that let it happen." His rage ebbs to sorrow as he hadn't thought of his sister in a long time, and his drifter friend kills the seed salesman with a shovel, which has been his shtick throughout the story, and then it ends somehow.

We don't have doctors because we need them. We have them because we've chosen to put effort into making sure kids grow old and have kids of their own. We have doctors because once we have grandkids, thus completing one cycle, we don't just want to roll over and die. We have electricity and television and beer because they make life a hell of a lot more fun. Do we need them? Not like clean water and fresh air, but without these things, our world ends.

And we all come together

Generalizing across huge populations is always a bad idea. The reason it keeps happening is that it makes for good reading. Thus…
I was in Ireland last week. One thing you may not know about Ireland is that there are no street numbers. An address might read something like, "O'Beer's Pub, Street Name, Town Name, County." I suppose traditionally it would have been easy enough and if you live in the town, you probably know what's around, but it can be hell on visitors. But what's one more little challenge, right? I mean, I'm already driving on the other side of the road.
Anyway, I got general directions from the hotel I was staying in to the area of the town I needed to get to (the general neighborhood can also be part of the address, sometimes). When I got there, I pulled into a gas station and asked a guy for directions. He said, "I'm going right by there, so just follow me and I'll take you to the gate." And he did just that.
A few days later, I arrived back in Newark Airport, collected my checked baggage, and clamored onto the shuttle bus that leads to the economy parking lot. I'm not complaining when I say that I waited for 35 minutes for the bus, but I bring it up only to highlight the fact that this is not a fast moving operation. So after I get situated in a seat near the front of the bus, two young Asian girls flag down the driver. From just outside of the bus, one girls says, "excuse me…can you tell me…um…" and she quickly looked down onto a sheet she had. The bus driver said, "Uh uh!" and as the doors were swinging shut continued, "I don't got time for that!"
With that kind of friendly attitude, I'm sure we'll all be able to work together post-election to solve these little problems we face.

A CEO as President

Though I know there is an unemployment problem, but I’m sure I’m not the only one in America that works for a large publicly-traded company. After that debate - all of them, really - I want to say what I think we’re all thinking…

I feel very fortunate that I’ve worked under (way, way under) a few very impressive CEOs. I think that they’ve done as much right in their jobs as is humanly possible. But would that make any of them a good president? In my personal case maybe, because I work in a science-based industry. But let’s just say in general, Does being a CEO predispose you to be a good president?

Here’s the thing: there is no way to layoff someone from being an American Citizen. There is a permanence to that that cannot be overcome. The job of the President must act both for the Greater Good, but also on behalf of every single citizen. Though unfortunate, in a company, if times get tight or if there is a strategic advantage, people can get laid off. Research budgets can be cut, too. There are other things as well, such as not investing in growth (or even in maintenance, if you must) and even cutting production. When those things happen, the displaced workers are supported by the USA and the safety net.

So what happens when the thing you’re running is the very thing that is the safety net? As I said, you can’t layoff an American Citizen.

So can a CEO be a good president? Of course. This is America. Any one of us can grow up to be President. But do you have an indispensable skill having been a CEO that nobody else could ever have? No, I don’t think so.

The Method

As we sneak up on the last of the three presidential debates, I think of one horrible fact that has not yet soiled the high-minded speeches we’ve endured for the last two years: what happens when we all refuse to work together?

Let me get something out of the way right now: this little epistle is going to look like I’m attacking Republicans if you, dear reader, don’t make it all the way to the end. The fact that I feel compelled to say that is just one little proof of the situation we’re in. So let’s get to it.

Here are some very recent political memories of mine, in no particular order. I remember this thing called the Nuclear Option in the Senate. This is when the Republicans held the Senate and because they didn’t like the Democrats stopping some of their bills with filibuster, they proposed getting rid of the filibuster entirely, giving the majority ultimate control with a simple majority (the way the House works). It was clear that the Republicans, then in the majority, did not have any interest in working with Democrats. So fast forward to now, with the Republicans now in the minority, they’ve filibustered a lot of what the Democrats have tried to do. Further, the House, which is still Republican controlled, has done little. Period. So in a minority, the Republicans don’t seem to have any interest in working with the Democrats.

Is this a one party problem? I’ll say not right now. I think that any group of people could become sufficiently contrary, regardless of their ideals, to stop our government from doing anything well. And that’s a real heck of a problem if there isn’t any way to get beyond the moment in time when one group has reared up and decided to hold everyone else hostage. There’s a way, though. It’s rough, but it’s a path.

Here’s the deal: until we finally burn up all the oil in the ground, melt the ice caps, create a super virus that will kill us all, or get hit by a meteor, we can hope that we have time. So we take that time to have the government do nothing. But I mean do nothing on purpose. Regardless of what side of the spectrum you’re on today, you have to be able to see that the government is not solving the big problems. When we can see that, we all scream at the top of our lungs “STOP!” Every person in government is suspended for one year, no bills can be passed, and the military takes over ruling the country. As the military, they do only the basics, like defense and infrastructure. All social security and the like is also suspended for a year. Along with the mail. Then, after one year, everyone that was in office goes back for the remainder of their term and we keep going from there. During that time, all taxes that are collected (the IRS functions can be performed by the military) go directly to the national debt.

Or maybe we can do something else. Maybe as we go into this election, we vote for sensible people that are more concerned with having a functioning government than having a government that functions exactly the way his fundamental beliefs tells him it should. I’m sure there is at least one sensible person in most congressional races (though we lost some like Sen. Lugar to the primaries). And I think our current president has shown that he is, at least, practical.

Or we can do the military rule thing… either ours or the one that takes us over because we can’t be trusted with big decisions anymore.

Wants and Fears

Have you noticed that there are political campaigns everywhere these days? They tell me that there are a lot of things to be afraid of today. Like the economy. Man, that thing is scary. It seems that it is the most pervasive thing in existence. Seems to mean more to us than air, water and love. This thing can completely ruin my life if it's allowed to do so. It can do it whether or not I personally make it mad. However, even if I do everything I can for it, it may not reward me with riches, but merely a normal life. I'm afraid of the economy.
Then there are radicals. These people are terrifying. Get this: they base their lives off of beliefs that have no way to be proven right or wrong. They just believe something - maybe it's something they find comforting or maybe it's something they themselves are afraid of - and they let it drive everything in their lives. They protest, burn, marry, kill, and lie based on these beliefs. And I hear they have them outside of America, too. I'm afraid of radicals.

I want to be happy. To be happy, I first must just be. I can't be happy if I'm not alive. I want clean air, fresh water, a functioning sewer, and booze. Those things are all at risk. I'm not even saying I want progress. I don't want cleaner air and fresher water. I'm saying simply that we can't let any more slip away. But it slips further and further into disrepair as the economy and radicals make us more and more afraid. I'm afraid of being afraid any longer.

Our Language is Broken

At various times in my life, I was, or, maybe, I tried to call myself a conservative and other times I called myself a liberal. I've finally seen and heard enough to say conclusively that I have no idea why I wasted my time trying to understand which one of those things I am. I'll go a step further on this, dear anonymous reader, that what I have to say is the same for you, regardless of what you believe. Ready? Let's go…


The first thing we should realize is that our language must reflect what is real and what we feel instead of trying to make what is real and what we feel fit our language. So we need to start by at least allowing for the possibility that there isn't a magic line out there with the left hand side being liberal and the right hand side being conservative and people fall somewhere along on that line.

Ok, but let's start assuming that line exists. How do I know where I fall on that line? Principles? Let's try that. My principle is that we should protect life. Easy principle, right? So when I think we should protect life, that means that we should not kill people for crimes no matter how heinous. Neither should we celebrate abortion as a form of birth control. Rather, we should try to ensure no woman (or no family, really) finds itself in need of an abortion. But, of course, once someone is to the point of whether she should have an abortion or not, I have nothing to do with that decision. To me, that protects life. I like life. You could say I am certainly not Anti-Life and am thus Pro-Life. So my principle on the face falls to the conservative side of the line but the actual implementation of those principles look liberal. On that alone, I'll say the whole line idea is broken and there is no line.

What is there, then? Here again I need to interject an assumption: I assume we need government. I see government as, essentially, a union that all Americans are part of (taxes are dues???). It's the one entity that has no other goal than to look out for our well-being in every single aspect. Pharmaceutical companies look out for our well-being in the doctor's office, but what if the factories themselves pollute? Car companies look out for our well-being by allowing us to get up and move, but what if the cars aren't safe? Government looks at all aspects all the time and we elect experts from among us to do the looking out.

Ok, so the question again is since we don't have a line between liberal and conservative to judge how we vote for people, what do we have? I posit this: we vote based how folks will or won't do whatever it is they do. Using our most divisive topic again, one may vote for Candidate Smith because he protects life by expanding education and reach out so people have a better chance to never be in a position to consider an abortion. Candidate Jones protects life by working to make abortion itself illegal and some folks may vote for him for that reason. Here's another: Candidate Anderson protects health by taxing tobacco and limiting alcohol to people over 21 while Candidate McSmith (I'm bad at conjuring up common names…) protects health by making alcohol illegal (harkening back to the 18th amendment and the Volstead Act…those cursed goddamn things…).

It's clear, I think, that Candidates Smith, Jones, Anderson and McSmith all have good intentions. They all look to protect the lives and health of Americans. So how do we decide? Some people, I think, would look at strict prohibitions set down by the government as bad in some way. Either they're ineffective (the war on drugs is still raging), overly-costly (higher incarceration rates), or they are just not the sort of things government should be doing (it's the job of parents to push around their kids, after all). Others may think that government has no place in "education" practice and should only make distinct black-and-white laws. Regardless, people decide based on how the work gets done.

"But Mr. Blogger, nothing gets done in Washington, so why would we vote based on how work gets done?" Ah yes. Time to bring it all home.

Something unique has happened in 2012. Remember all of that talk a few weeks ago about "Party Platforms"? What those are supposed to be, as I understand it, is a nice, clear explanation of what political parties want to do and how they want to do it.

Here's the GOP Platform:
http://www.gop.com/2012-republican-platform_home/

And the Democratic Platform:
http://www.democrats.org/democratic-national-platform

So yes, we're left with to parties, but they're not polarized as Left or Right. They're different in the way they want to help America. Looking at it this way, I'm immediately hopeful that our political system is actually really, really good. See, if in 2016 America decides they like the party of Candidate Smith, they can vote for the entire party she's a part of because they all share the same methodology for solving issues, semi-regardless of what those issues are. If this happens, Candidate Smith may get the White House, and maybe the House of Representatives will be majority Smith's party (because every Rep is up for reelection every two years), but the Senate may not flip to that party because only one third of the Senate is voted on that year. This keeps progress moving but does hinder changing too much too fast so we don't spin out of control. If we really, really love Smith's party, then in 2018, America may re-elect all those House members and then add more Senators when the next third is up for election.

See? Platforms matter. I'm pulling the lever for Smith and Anderson.

Lament of Late Summer

The garden centers started shaking off the snow in February, putting out seeds, bags of special soils, and little biodegradable pots. It was serious in March. A week without dropping below 40F forced my hand into prepping the soil and putting some hardy plants in. By April, they were all in. Everything seemed slow to take off, but in May, volunteer tomato plants were popping up everywhere. Many were replanted into rows rounding out my number into 24. June and July was weeding, hoisting up heavy branches and tying them off, fighting off local groundhogs and watering during the long droughts. Those lasted into August, but the tomatoes started turning red nonetheless. Fresh tomato slices on bread toasted in oil was frequently on the table. Quickly, each week, sometimes twice, a bushel of tomatoes made its way into the kitchen to be blanched, peeled, cored, and cooked down to a very sweet base for spaghetti sauce or salsa. Then it was September. I pulled off another bushel one day and noticed that it was pretty easy to get them. All of the full, green growth that for so long dominated the yard was falling away limp and yellowing. There’s maybe another batch of sauce out there. Maybe not. I’ve run out of jars anyway.

Time to hunker down. Fall is here.

Labor Day Is Upon Us

Another summer gone.  Here's the tally thus far:
- enough tomatoes to bury a small car under
- along with a lot of peppers, made two batches of salsa and froze gallons of tomato juice (to be canned later)
- one camping trip only
- constant travel...

...this leads me to the following...

I'm updating the blog a little to include short tales from various global excursions.  I still anticipate making countless mistakes, so the name will stay the same.  I'm also now on twitter @FlintyScott.

All the best.  Be safe this holiday (to those in the US that know what I'm talking about...)

Samson

One reason for my absence from these pages is my dog, Samson.  In the end of July 2011, at a local Humane Society, I found this trainwreck of a beagle.  His tongue always hung out of his mouth because he didn't have a singe tooth to hold it in with.  One of his ears was mangled from being chewed on and he had a gigantic hernia on his butt cheek.  The thing was, his teeth didn't fall out.  They were all pulled out.  He as been used to teach little puppies how to dog fight.  He was made defensless and left to die.

He didn't, though.  Somehow that beagle got loose and found his way to the shelter.  He had been there for awhile when we found him.  It took me no time decide that old boy couldn't die in a shelter and we took him home immediately. 

There's a million small stories that describe what took him from being a human-shy dog to the beagle that often slept with his head on the pillow next to me - every one a classic.  But those days are over.  As I sit here in Mumbai, India for work, my girlfriend took Samson in for emergency surgery for a bleeding turmor.  He fought through the surgery, but gave in to heart fauilure in the end.

Samson, it's the wonderful animals like you that help make our human lives a little more bearable.  Once we got you away from your old life, everyone that ever met you loved you, loved to pet you, laugh at your tongue, and go "awwww" when they saw your old bright eyes.  I'm not sure if people deserve a heaven, but I know you do, my friend.  I'll never forget you.

Most likely, nobody reads this anymore...

...since i've been such a terrible host. But just in case, here's a new publication of mine in Controlled Environments Magazine:
http://www.cemag.us/article/pharma-facility-quality-audits-primer-design-teams