A Resolute New Year

Welcome to the end of 2013, dear Reader.  As I sit watching the snow fall gently on the City, I think back to all of the changes this year has brought.  I bought a new house, got married, but most importantly, I joined Facebook.  I mean that as sarcastically as possible.  That too, actually. 

Thanks to Facebook, one of the things that I saw, for the first time I can recall, is a whole lot of popular culture.  I’ve never been one to watch the hit Reality TV shows, listen to commercial talk radio or drive-time pop music stations.  Admittedly, I would learn about new cultural idioms and inside-jokes through satirical shows or thorough my friends (the latter, usually after something like “You can’t be serious that you haven’t seen that!”).  What I learned this year from Facebook is that at as soon as life isn’t perfect, it is popular to believe that you deserve better than whatever you have.

A friend of mine recently was having some relationship issues.  I’m a “he” and she is a “she”.  She asked me generally what I thought she should do, so I said to love him even more.  She appeared surprised.  But when I look at what I see tossed off on Facebook as self-help wisdom, I can see why my answer was surprising.  There are hundreds of items each week with short statements meaning “Don’t Look Back”, “If it didn’t work out the first time, it wasn’t meant to be”, and “Love yourself because you matter most.”  Also, it’s not like I haven’t dated over the past few years.  I know that when past relationships hit hard times, my friends told me “there are more fish in the sea” and her friends told her “you can do better than him.”  With that type of support, there is no chance to forge a stronger relationship, to grow, to learn, or to soften your edges. 

There were a few exceptions.  Those in the generation I’d call “Group A baby-boomers” (the oldest of the baby boomers) or those even older, were usually quick to say “stick it out and it will be even sweeter later on.”  But that is a too-quickly dwindling cohort. 

My fortunes were incredible this year.  Someone chose me.  I chose her, too. 

In 2014, should I get the opportunity, I choose to be resolute in my support of loved ones.  Don’t give up on each other.  Don’t let arguments, disagreements, even momentary pure hate take down long-term love and friendship.  If you are happy, be thankful for what you have.  If you’re not happy, look in yourself to see why not.  Chances are, you have a lot more to be thankful about than you think, and it’s your own fault you’re miserable. 

Peace.