This Damn House - March 2009

It's been a bitter winter. The Summer 2008 Second floor and patio projects ended abruptly when I decided to rededicate myself to my career. This decision coincided wonderfully with my 401k diving into the toilet, but was in no way caused by this, of course. So I still have not added the quarter round to the baseboards and most of my patio has heaved toward the grey sky.

All did not cease, however. Slowly, I worked up the nerve to finish the staircases. They were painted and American-made carpet runners were stapled down with my new Craftsman brad nailer. The hardness of old wood is surprising, as are the brads that carom off of that wood and imbed in your thigh. Remember to always wear safety glasses when using power tools.

The worthless washroom door has found its way out of the second story window and into the trash. Lucky I live alone. Though I have the material, bought on one fine Saturday trip to Fabric Row in Philly, I haven't found the gumption to sew a curtain for the door yet. All in due time. I am rededicated to my career, after all.

Avid readers of this communiqué will remember that my bathroom is one of the certain projects in the not too distant future. Though I have done some tiling in the past, I was nothing of an expert (or a practiced novice for that matter) until this past Christmas. The key to successful home renovation and repair is to always practice on someone else's house first. Preferably a new acquaintance that doesn't know you very well. A small tiling job (only the tub surround) deftly turned into a three-wall demo down to the studs, a full rebuild, and a new floor. And now I have a new hammer drill to boot.

Winter turned to spring and my attention has been on the garden for months now. Six weeks ago, I planted all of my seeds as I did not want to drop another $200 on plants. Those sons-of-bitches still haven't sprouted. But I'm not afraid. Sunny days will come and I'm sure I'll be able to grow everything from seed. Just in case, I have a plan B.

One thing my backyard farm has lacked, besides a Paw Paw Tree, is a source of protein. I've got that licked now. Weekend before last was spent crafting a new mobile chicken coop of mostly my own design. It's an A-frame with wheels on one end to allow for easy movement. It allows for free ranging of the chickens and has a second-floor enclosure to keep them warm at night. This should also be found to be suitable for the neighborhood skunks and copperheads that will invariably kill my chickens and attack me at sunrise some horrible Tuesday morning. Tomorrow, I buy a gun.

So the summer plans are laid. Gardening, chickens, living room window stripping and repainting, and a fresh color for the living room walls that is as far away as possible from the last-night's vomit color they currently are. Hopefully, this will be completed before my foundation crumbles and the house finally kills me.